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Author Sarah Jayne Carr in the Hypothetical Hotspot™

I got the chance to get a little crazy with author Sarah Jayne Carr and this is what happens when we’re both lacking caffeine or sleep… or both.  She’s an awesome chick, a fantastic author, and a good friend of mine. Give it up for the sensational Sarah!

Sarah Jayne Carr is a novelist who can be found most evenings with a cup of tea in-hand and her imagination racing from plot to plot. When away from her work, part of her mind is constantly brainstorming her next story and she always has writing paraphernalia within reach. 

She wrote stories as a child, but became more serious about her passion during her twenties. In her spare time, she likes to read, splash in mud puddles, smell bookstores and eat Honeycrisp apples. Yearly, she participates in NaNoWriMo and has mentored others through the program. Due to her dedication to National Novel Writing Month, she is part of an amazing writing group. 

Born and raised in Washington State, Sarah still resides in the area. Her life is richly filled with her supportive, yet swashbuckling husband and their golden Nugget.

Sarah Jayne Carr

Sarah Jayne Carr

Tell me something you want people to know about you:
I have an abnormally long tongue. Oh? Not a fact that random? I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo and I’m a six-time champion. My muse wears the diamond-crusted medals to prove it. It’s too bad she lives inside my imagination; the value decreases drastically when compared to tangible diamond-crusted medals. 😉 My NaNo stories from 2005 and 2009 have been published: Revealing Hamilton and Embracing Hamilton.

Tell us how you live or walk us through a normal day for you:
How do I live? Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. 😉

A day only feels “normal” to me if I’m able to squeeze in time to write. If I don’t write, I feel “off”. My schedule differs each day, so it includes juggling…chainsaws. A lot of chainsaws.

Are you a full-time writer? If not, tell us about your day job:
Oh, to dream! By day, I work in radiology billing. By night, I’m a novelist (that’s when I put on the spandex and the cape). Watch out, Washington. Kidding. My day job is very number-oriented–much different from the writing world. In a sense, I achieve a balance this way and that allows the world to remain on its axis. You’re welcome.

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
The “theme” of my stories doesn’t manifest until after I’ve written them. I don’t go into a story with an elaborately mapped out plan for what the reader should come away with. I go into a story thinking about how I can punish Amelia. Then, I think about what can make her life ten times worse. It’s sad, but true. In all honesty, reading is a personal experience and everyone interprets messages and envisions characters/scenery within stories in their own way. If I asked you to imagine a fire-eating clown juggling miniature unicorns while singing Spanish opera, I’ll bet they’d all appear differently. (When I’m sleepy, I become random. Yes, I’m tired. How could you tell?) Readers have all led different lives with different experiences. With that said, they may pull different “messages” from my stories so I don’t aim to pinpoint a certain one as I’m writing.

How much of the book is based off personal experiences?
Within my stories, there are many real-life experiences woven throughout the pages. I’m usually pretty quiet regarding which parts are reality and which parts are pure fiction. One instance of a personal experience? Within the pages of Embracing Hamilton, there’s a morgue scene. For the sake of research, I visited a morgue. I needed to see/smell/hear/touch (not taste, that would just be wrong) everything to write the scene accurately. From the metallic sound of the garbage disposal to the salty smell of the body cooler (yes, there were bodies within), I was able to put Amelia in the necessary situation.

What are your current projects?
I’m working on the third full-length novel in the JackRabbit7 series. It’s called Hunting Hamilton. Additionally, I’m working on the third JackRabbit7 prequel. It’s called Concealing Torres. I have a few other stories marinating inside my head—not JackRabbit7-related. Whenever those characters try to emerge, Amelia puts them in a headlock and knees them in the face. Right now, she’s still in the spotlight and isn’t ready to give it up yet.

Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?
My cousins and I used to write short stories when we were kids. Throughout my teenage years, I didn’t give writing a second thought (outside of school). When I hit my mid-twenties, I was wandering around a local bookstore. Unable to find the book I wanted to read, I realized it hadn’t been written yet. However, I wasn’t sure where to begin. Shortly thereafter, I learned of a program called National Novel Writing Month. I heard marvelous stories of people who wrote 50,000-words in a month. I wanted to be one of those people and I made it happen. The rest is history.

Do you ever experience writer’s block and how do you overcome it?
Pffft. I eat writer’s block for breakfast. Two lumps of sugar and cream, please. Okay, the real answer is…<pause for dramatic effect> I don’t believe in writer’s block. If there’s a block, something is wrong with the story. In these times, I treat these “hurdles” like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” story. If there’s a stumbling block in front of Amelia that I can’t figure out, I try to take a detour with the scene. It works. In the past, I’ve also tried writing the scene from the perspective of a supporting character. It’s helped too. To date, I haven’t had to use my flare gun to signal for help so I must be doing something right for my muse.

What project are you working on now?
Is this déjà vu from three questions ago? You know I’m going to be snarky. Right now? I’m working on this interview. What are you working on right now? 😉
Coey: Nothing… 🙁

Do you have any advice to give to aspiring writers?
Write. Everyday. If you wait for inspiration to strike, you’ll be waiting a long time. The more you practice the craft, the deeper you’ll be involved with your characters.

 

Before we get to the crazy questions, check out the trailer for Revealing Hamilton by Sarah Jayne Carr.

 

Hypothetical Hotspot™

Sarah, The Zombie Apocalypse is a scientific possibility. What’s your plan when it happens?
I’m headed to the cemetery with mallet to play Whack-A-Mole.

If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
With a singing telegram, of course. By the way, Coey? I’m sorry I stole your unicorn. Make sure you’re home tomorrow between 11 and 2. A man in a lobster suit is going to stop by and sing a rousing rendition of Crossfade’s “Cold” to you. Creepy, isn’t it?
Coey: You always know exactly the right thing to give a person. 🙂

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
There’s no need to work my way any higher up the chain. Instead, I’ll just write them into my next novel. Then, there aren’t any repercussions for my actions. <insert maniacal laugh here>
Coey: If you insist…

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
No one will…except for Merriam-Webster. As I hop in my time machine, I envision Noah Webster, George Merriam, and Charles Merriam sitting back in leather armchairs. The setting is an office with oak furniture and crushed red velvet curtains. It’s late in the evening. They’re smoking cigars and laughing as they screw with the population by altering snippets of dictionary. Did I mention they’ve had too much to drink? I can’t see this ending well…

If you were stranded in the remote wilderness would you eat one of your dead traveling companions to survive?
Is one of my dead traveling companions a cow livestock? If so, bring it on.

Would you volunteer to be one of the first colonists on Mars if it meant you could never return to earth?
I need clarification here. Are we talking about Mars (the planet) or Mars (the candy bar)? Right now, I’m distracted as I think about chocolate so I’m willing to take you up on your offer of caramel and nougat.

If it is after midnight and you do not want to go home yet, where do you go?
Coey, you’re so funny! I have a two-year old. I turn into a pumpkin at midnight. Then, I can’t fit through the door, I spend the night out in the cold, and I get cranky. No one likes a cranky Sarah.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I understand you’re an author, so I’m going to forgive your Internet browser history.

I swallowed and shook my head as tears slid down my cheeks. “Dane, don’t.” I gulped. “Gasoline. He has a gun. Matches.” —Engaging Kennewick

Molly Kennewick is involved in a long-distance relationship with a secretive IA employee named Dane Pascall. A prior breakup gone wrong with a resident bad boy leaves a bad taste in Molly’s mouth and also leaves her on edge. A significant amount of time has passed since Axel vanished from her life, but he’s been reminding her of his presence in peculiar ways. A weekend getaway is what Molly believes she needs to clear her head, but history is waiting with bated breath to repeat itself. Can Molly resolve her past and present before her future goes up in flames?

How to Stalk Sarah Jayne Carr:
TwitterFacebookWebsiteGoodreadsAmazon

It’s only $.99! Feed the burn.
Purchase Engaging Kennewick on Amazon: USA, United Kingdom, and Canada.


If you’re an indie author and you would like to be interviewed by Coey Cain, you can send your request to coeycain@hotmail.com or
send a message on Facebook.

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The Fantastic and Fabulous Author Catherine Stovall: Reborn Blog Tour

Author Catherine Stovall

Author Catherine Stovall

Today is a special day because I’m interviewing Author Catherine Stovall. Not only is she a fantastic writer, she’s also a great friend of mine. I met Catherine over six months ago and we’ve spoken nearly every day since. She’s devilishly charismatic, exceedingly intelligent, wildly humorous, and vastly resourceful. I’ll never forget the conversation we were having when she mistakenly thought I was barely in my early twenties. The conversation was based on my own personal lack of action in the book publishing world. I was impressed at her success and all that she’d accomplished, and her words to me were, “You’re younger than I was when I got started.” Again, like I said, she’s very entertaining and I just can’t allow her to live that down. It’s always good for your ego when you are able to baffle a person as brilliant as she is, but it still sucks that I’m no spring chicken.

Catherine doesn’t like to be forced into a box, and she doesn’t like labels, therefore she writes in any genre that suits her fancy. Stolen and Reborn are considered many things including YA, Horror, Romance, and Occult. Fearful Day is General Fiction Horror. She’s currently working on a fantasy novel, a crime novel, and preparing to release a Drama Short Story.

Okay, enough dilly-dally. I could go on all night about how awesome Catherine Stovall is, but let’s get on with the interview and you can see for yourself why I so adore this woman.

You can enter to win a copy of Reborn from the Rafflecopter giveaway.

“I don’t want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.”
—Marilyn Monroe

Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself?
I am an eclectic in all areas of life. I wear many hats and do many things. In my “normal” life, I am a full time office manager, a wife, and a mother of three children. In my “creative” life, I write, sketch, and do amateur photography. In my “crazy” life, I ride motorcycles, play with giant reptiles, and generally do anything for an adrenaline rush.

When did you first start writing and when did you finish your first book?
I started writing very early on in my childhood. It was not until I was 30 that I decided to write a book. I finished and published it within that same year.

Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?
I started with poetry when I first learned to write and it became a true passion for me. Later in life, it became a necessity for me. On the face of a blank page, I found my outlet for all things.

Where did you grow up and what was it like?
I grew up all over, born in Florida and later moving to multiple places through Missouri. I traveled extensively on the East Coast and lived in Alabama for a bit. We lived on farms and in small towns. I was the youngest of a large family and though times were hard and my parents were strict, I had a wonderful life full of hard-learned lessons.

Where do you live now and what’s it like?
I currently live in what I like to refer to as Sandland. It is a tiny town in Southeast Missouri with little life. It is a nice safe place to raise teens.

Do you have a day job? If so, tell us about it…
I am an Office Manager at a small loan company. I work with a crazy bunch of humans. They are always colorful and interesting. Sometimes they are plain insane.

If you could write a different genre, what would it be?
I am interested in writing Steampunk. I have tried my hand at it before but I don’t feel I have really captured the genre yet.

How much of the book is based on real life experience?
Many scenes in Stolen are based on true events in my life. When Jenda and Soborgne first meet the readers actually experience an embellished version of how I met my best friend of 20+ years.

What are your current projects?
I am working on ten separate projects right now, including Eternity: Requiem of Humanity: Book 3. There are several different genres to include YA Fantasy, Romance, General Fiction, Horror, Paranormal, and Thriller. You can check out the complete list and their descriptions on my webpage.

>>> Catherine Stovall’s Webpage <<<

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything about a book and what would it be?
I would like to redo the beginning of Stolen. Many readers have found the start to be a little slow. Being inspired by the early greats, I have a huge love of backstory and today’s readers seem to prefer a more action packed beginning.

Can you share a little of your current work with us?
A short paragraph from Arcana ~ I spent three years in the darkness with no sun. It seemed like an eternity without feeling its warmth on my skin. Sometimes, I dreamed about it. In these dreams, I was younger and the world was the way it was before the war. I was twelve when the war first broke and sixteen when it ended. I remember clearly, what life was like before the High Priestess’ Age of Magic.

Do you ever experience writer’s block and how do you get your inspiration back?
Writer’s block curses all writers at some point in their career. For me, it is best to separate myself completely from my writing for a few days. When I come back, I am similar to a starving man at a banquet table.

What do you do when you are not writing?
I read, spend time with my kids, and have adventures with my husband on our motorcycle.

How did you choose the genre you write in?
Horror has always been a fascination for me. Turning to the YA genre came from the desire to produce books I would want my children and little sister to read. I wanted to provide them with material that focused on true imagination and less sexual situations.

Where do you get your ideas?
My dreams are often nightmares and they provide plenty of inspiration. Other times I derive story ideas from everywhere around me. Music plays an enormous part for me as well.

Do you work with an outline, or just write?
I start with a general and very weak outline. I have learned not to focus too much on preconceptions because my characters never seem to cooperate and I end up veering way into left field.

How do you market your work? What avenues have you found to work best for your genre?
I use social networking such as Facebook, Twitter, and Google +. I find photo contest are very effective online. I also do as much in-person promotion as possible. This summer, I held a pet food drive for my local No-Kill Shelter. I also pass out fangs with promo cards attached to them at Halloween while I take my own children trick or treating. Both were great promotion opportunities. We will be hosting a blood drive in the spring for the print release of Reborn as well.

Have you written a book you love that you have not been able to get published?
I recently finished a YA Fantasy novel titled Faire Eve. I believe that once the book has found the right home, my readers will love it as well. Faire Eve is currently being reviewed and hopefully will be joining the growing list of my novels available to the public.

Do you have any advice to give to aspiring writers?
Not very original but, “Don’t give up. You may receive a hundred rejections but it only takes one yes. Also, save up and get an editing program. It will change your life.

Is there anything that you would like to say to your readers and fans?
Thank you. Without my readers and fans, I would not be able to do what I love and share it with the world.

The Hypothetical Hotspot™

with Author Catherine Stovall

What are you going to do when the Zombie Apocalypse hits?
Grab a chainsaw, a bunch of guns, lots of food and ammo, and my laptop before heading to the most unpopulated area possible.

Where do babies come from?
Oh, they crawl in under the door while you sleep. Just like cockroaches, they never seem to go away either.

Can you pick any product of your choice and write a catchphrase for it?
Turtle Lattes. It’s like crack in your coffee. 😀

Do you have Road Rage?
My biggest pet peeve is when people pull out in front of me just to slam on their brakes and turn. It sends me into a spree of cuss words that could make a sailor blush.

What are three of your worst habits?
Marlboro’s, Mountain Dew, and my filthy mouth.

What happens when you get ‘half scared to death’ twice?
Well, if you have recovery time between the two scares, I am assuming, you could end up one quarter to one-third dead. If no recovery time then, I will see you when you return on the wrong side of the Zombie Apocalypse.

If I got slobbering drunk, would you make me a sandwich?
As long as you promised to slobber on the sandwich and not me. I got a thing with spit. Ewww…yuck.

If you write a book about failure, and it doesn’t sell, is it called success?
If you start writing a book and you finish it, that is success in itself. So, yes.

If something “goes without saying,” why do people still say it?
Because people love to hear themselves talk.

Why do all the superheroes wear underpants on the outside?
I always assumed it was for more restriction in that area. I mean the man of steel must have a few issues if he gets excited. ~~ waggles eyebrows~~

What is another word for “thesaurus”?
I was really tempted to list the word in every different language I could find but… I’m lazy so I’m going to go with an attempt to be funny. It’s a writer’s cheat sheet.

What would happen if Batman gets bitten by a vampire?
He’d be a Vampire Batman or he’d ditch the suit and just be hot.

If chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and beans are a vegetable, why isn’t chocolate a vegetable?
Wait! Chocolate isn’t a vegetable. OMG… my whole life has been a lie.

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
At the same moment when the glass stops being half-empty and becomes half-full. To specify that would be when people become delusional or they take their happy pills.

If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?
Actually, yes. Other tax write offs include thongs as uniforms and latex as safety materials. Thanks to a strange lawsuit.

What does PU stand for (as in “PU, that stinks!”)?
Not to be boring and informational but it is a shortened version of the French term peur that means to stink.

What do people in China call their good plates?
Home Plate?

What type of animal is Snuffaluffagus?
I believe Snuffy was created in the image of wooly mammoth, minus the tusk, so he did not frighten children. Whatever he is, he cracks my shit up!

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
I have done a lot of research on how to kill people in cold blood (for the books I swear) and it is the general style and manner overall that determines a killing to be an assassination.

Stolen

Stolen

Stolen: Requiem of Humanity Series:
Book 1
Jenda and Soborgne are best friends and everything they do, they do together. Unfortunately, this time the girls may be joined at the hip in a far more horrible way: by death. The girls are kidnapped and held captive by Belle and Matteo, two vampires with a plan. Belle, a sociopath in life and death, is searching for an heir to her reign as the only vampire to hold the secret to surviving the sun. Matteo is a lost soul who would give anything to be loved and to see the light of day. As the four characters’ worlds collide, blood is spilled, lives are lost, and rules are broken. Disappointment in love and life bring out the worst in humans but, with vampires, it leads to a chilling tale of romance and terror.

Click the links for Stolen on E-Book and Paperback

Reborn

Reborn

Reborn: Requiem of Humanity: Book 2

After killing the only female vampire known to walk in the sun, Jenda and Soborgne travel with Matteo, Jenda’s true love and a major player in the girls’ human demise, to Budapest in search of protection and answers. Hunted by the Dracul for their crimes against the vampire Belle, their future is unsure and the danger is mounting. An ancient feud between God, Demons, and Vampires places Jenda and Soborgne at the center of a battle for their lives and a mysterious prophecy. The girls find themselves separated once again but this time, Soborgne has chosen to walk away. Feeling as if the world thinks she is the epitome of evil, she turns away from her friends and the light. Even the constant thirst and the rising darkness inside Jenda’s mind can’t stop her. To many coincidences and unanswered questions sends her back into the world of her mind and a visitor she thought long gone offers her the information she needs… for a price.
Click here to purchase Reborn.
You can also enter to win a copy at the Rafflecopter giveaway

Fearful Day

Fearful Day

Fearful Day (Short Story)

Sometimes, in the darkness, there are things waiting for the most innocent souls. Things that seek out the goodness in its victims because it is the most precious thing they can destroy. 

The author of Stolen: Requiem of Humanity: Book One brings you into the recesses of a twisted mind in this tale of demons, shadows, and prophecies fulfilled.
Click here to purchase Fearful Day.

Who designed the covers?
The incredibly talented Alaskan multi-medium artist Christy Weber, who also happens to be my sister, designed the covers for Stolen and Fearful Day. The Reborn Cover was designed by Mrs. Venus Botticelli, an equally talented artist who typically does not share her work with the world.

Before we go, did you enter a Rafflecopter giveaway? Did you join The Official Catherine Stovall Fan Page? Did you check out Requiem of Humanity Series on Facebook?

There’s much more to come on The Reborn Blog Tour. Stay tuned, she’ll be on the Writing Network tomorrow.

I adore you, Catherine Stovall. Thank you so much for dropping by. ♥

By Coey Cain

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Featuring Joseph Beekman

An Author Interview

BY COEY CAIN

From an early age, around six or seven, Joseph Beekman started writing.  To-date, he is the only Author I know who began writing stories at a younger age than I did.  He started to really get into it when he was in high school and about five years ago, he self published “A Tail Spun” which was the first novel he finished.

Joseph is from Arizona where he was raised and still living today.  He spent a lot of time in Montana while growing up and explored the forests, ghost towns and rail roads with his brothers and sister.  Fun and adventure were aplenty and helped to stir his imagination as a young child.  He plays guitar and was a member in some heavy metal, underground garage bands back in the day.  He works as a cook in a Greek restaurant to make extra money.  It’s a nice establishment with great food and he enjoys it.  He has a real passion for helping animals.  He supports animal shelters and looks out for the well-being of neglected, stray, homeless and needy pets.  There is no limit to his compassion for animals.

“I love to write when it is dark and stormy outside, like the cold dead time of winter or a perfect monsoon season here in the desert!” -Joseph Beekman

One day, Joseph might like to write True Life Stories.  Currently, he is the Author of genres such as Fantasy, Paranormal, Sci-Fi, Horror and Adventure.  He writes with no regrets and believes that each idea that comes to him is exactly as it should be.  Amen to that!

“Let Nothing stand between me and the sun.”

-Alexander the Great

When I asked Joseph where his interest in writing originated from, he replied, “Movies.  In fact, old monster movies that would televise on shows like “World Beyond” and the “Outer Limits”.   My big thrust into the entire world of fantasy and science fiction storytelling was when I attended the screening of “Star Wars” in 1977…I was 8 years old, and that film really changed my life and how I saw storytelling.  Also, the book “DUNE” by author Frank Herbert, as well as the “LORD OF THE RINGS”…those books all were great catapults into knowing where my passion would be driven.”

You can find Joseph on Facebook, read his Blog, and check out his Amazon Author Page by following these links!

How much of the book is based on real life experience?  The books of Little Orphan Anvil have real life experience in the fact that they all have the elements of faith, hope, courage, and overcoming great odds.

What are your current projects?  Now, I am working on a paranormal trilogy dealing with cats, in a fantasy realm.  Should be lots of fun! J  Also, a sequel trilogy to Little Orphan Anvil, but along the lines of the sorceress, “Tabitha” – one of the main characters in book II and III.

Do you ever experience writer’s block and how do you get your inspiration back?  Yes, and I take breaks, go fishing, hiking…whatever gets me out of my own self.  I don’t want to force the writing or ideas.  Just let them unfold when the time is right.

What do you do when you are not writing?  I usually think about writing, or creating.   Watching movies and reading.  A bit of music listening or attending concerts, and guitar playing, too!

How did you choose the genre you write in?  Whatever feels right at the time and with the idea that pops into my mind: I just go with that genre.

Where do you get your ideas?  Pictures, paintings, music, childhood memories and adventures.

Do you work with an outline, or just write?  Just write.

How do you market your work? What avenues have you found to work best for your genre?  I use every and all available outlets on the world wide web to market/promote my books.  I find face book has helped open up many avenues that I can branch off of and also twitter seems to be catching on for me.    Plus, word of mouth and  speaking about the books one on one with others I know, or complete strangers.

Do you have any advice to give to aspiring writers?  Never abandon hope.

Below, you can find a list of Joseph Beekman’s novels.  But first, a message from the Author himself…

“Believe in yourself first and foremost.  Always stay true and focused to your passion, and don’t let anything sidetrack you from your goals or aspirations.   Each individual has their own unique talents and magic that makes them shine, so don’t ever let that be lost!   Use what you have been given to the greatest of your ability and above all:  Keep it simple and Keep it Fun!  To all the readers and fans of the books: Thank you all for believing in me and for the support!!”

 

A TAIL SPUN   

Centuries have passed since humanity’s fall. Yet, a war continues to sweep across the earth between the remaining species of life in an almost uninhabitable environment – a war between the underground rats and the surface alliance led by the cats. The outcome of the war and the survival of the alliance depends solely on their faith in mythical Gods and the strength and hope in their hearts. However, bringing the hauntingly endless war to a finale, or for life to be renewed, will also mean facing an ancient foe from the birth of existence itself!

LITTLE ORPHAN ANVIL – THE COMPLETE TRILOGY   

An ancient science unearthed ~ An orphaned robot discovered ~ And the shades of fate forged across the gravelands of a forgotten realm. The complete trilogy of the live-wired fantasy adventure hammered with mayhem, madness, and magical mystery!

A TALE OF MAGIC AND METAL 

A tale of an orphaned robot and its journey to help a divided realm of lost lands from being ruled by an evil witch. When the Land of Iron and Anvil is struck by a wicked storm, the robot becomes lost to the wilds of the lands. But after being discovered by a little boy and his dog, the robot is then reunited with its creator, and together they travel to the Land of Shadows, hoping to free a group of orphans from the dark magic of the witch…and to save an entire realm from her twisted rule!

 

THE SHADES OF FATE  

With the discovery of a “legendary” pumpkin patch in the dark of the deadwoods, the witch returns in this second installment to the tale of magic and metal. The Land of Iron and Anvil is once again threatened with the dark magic of the witch, and the little robot, Anvil, along with some new and old friends, must venture into the shadowy lands of the realm to stop her wicked ways…and seal her fate.

 

 

THE GRAVELANDS OF FATE 

In this final installment to the tale of magic and metal, the fate of the robots will be decided across the gravelands of a forgotten realm. From the haunted wilds of the icy, dark north, two mysterious “others” have surfaced to claim the witch’s soul as their own – and to lay to rest the heretics of their dark magic. But as fate would have it, the little orphaned robot, Anvil, has returned from the grave to embark on a strange journey with old friends that will take them from one side of the realm to the other in a final attempt to crush an ancient darkness…that has now become a monster!

 As promised… The Hypothetical Hotspot™

This is simply my favorite part of doing interviews.  I love to hear the hilarious responses of Authors when they have to answer some ludicrous hypothetical questions.

How fast do hotcakes sell?  Fast as sharks on a hot streak!

Why do people say beans, beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?  To mess with everyone’s early learning development.

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?  Predictably so.

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?  When one starts feeling less down and more on the sunny side-up of the day!

What would happen if Batman gets bitten by a vampire?  The Joker would be on him!

What is another word for “thesaurus”?  ThisStoryIsForUs.

Is “vice-versa” to a dyslexic just plain redundant?  Only if they were to reverse it and then flip it on top of itself!

Why do all the superheroes wear underpants on the outside?  To hide their inner feelings of their depraved sexual appetite.

If something “goes without saying,” why do people still say it?  To confirm that it really does go without saying, “so to speak”.

If you write a book about failure, and it doesn’t sell, is it called success?  Yes, because at least you proved the point of the book itself.

What happens when you get ‘half scared to death’ twice?  Roll over and complete the other two halves!

If I got slobbering drunk, would you make me a sandwich?  Yes:  It would be made of sand and petrified wood for the bread.

Why do they put holes in crackers?  So one can see what type of soup they are about to devour.

How come lemon cleaning liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings?  Because lemons eat away at the enamel of the teeth.

What does PU stand for (as in “PU, that stinks!”)?  Putrid Uranus.

If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why do they take them trick-or-treating?  Because at least then the kids are in costume, therefore strange enough themselves.

What do people in China call their good plates?  Paper.

What type of animal is Snuffaluffagus?  An abandoned runt of the gangster family, The Hutts.

Where do babies come from?  The Octomom.

Do you have Road Rage?  Nope, but I do have sidewalk rage!

What are three of your worst habits?  Micro-analyzing everything to death.  Picking at old wounds or scars, and not letting them fully heal or just be.  Giving my two cats too much spaghetti for breakfast.

 

Thank you, Joseph Beekman, for playing along!  I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did.

And everyone else, be sure to head over to Amazon to check out his books and find him on Facebook!

Coey Cain

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